The Living Go On Living
When someone we loved dies, what do we do? There isn’t much we can do. We can offer comfort to the family or lean a hand any way that we can. Other than that, all we can do is keep on living.
Death never changes. Anytime that we lose someone we love, we hurt. The pain is so bad. Our hearts hurt. We cry and cry because our emotions can not conceive the loss. We have to realize that we will never see or speak to that person again in our entire life. The main thing to remember when we lose someone to death is what we all should be doing in life. What we should do each day. Let the people we love know how much. Not just by using words. Words are cheap. We need to do things to show them. As the saying goes, we are our actions. Or maybe that was actions speaks louder than words.
I lost a dear, dear friend last week. He died in a car wreck. Looking back, I see how that we always showed each other how much we cared. He was a young man about my son’s age. He always came by to visit me after growing up. He would have a photo of his son or something. Sometimes, he just needed to talk. Sometimes, he just wanted to visit. He was going though a divorce and I just listened. I could have spoken up to say what I thought. However, when people are having a hard time in life, it’s hard to listen to what others have to say. The same thoughts keep spinning inside their brains. So, the best thing is to just listen. Let them know that you care enough about them to just be there for them day or night.
Life can be shorter than we plan. We all plan to grow old and some do. Others are not so blessed and die young. My friend was only forty. He had everything to live for in life. He had a four-year old son that was the light of his life. His son will miss the joy of growing up with a wonderful dad.
Just remember that we never know what tomorrow will bring. Reach out to those you love. Let them know how much they mean to you. I am glad that I did.
Some days are diamonds some days are stones
Most people reading this will know that the title came from a song written and recorded by John Denver. He could not have said more profound words.
I gave up worrying about the days full of stones in my life. Every time anything goes wrong, all I have to do it wait a bit for it will be corrected. Maybe not by me but by someone who loves me.
This winter has been a hard one. My washer froze because of the below freezing temperatures. About the same time, my toilet started to overflow from the tank. Plus, my coffee pot gave up and died right on my kitchen counter. If I sit here long enough, I know that I can come up with a few other things that have gone wrong. However, I do not dwell on the bad things that happen. Things work out.
I am waiting until the weather gets warmer to attempt to find out how to repair my washer. I am not too good at working on it but I have a couple of times with the help of someone who knew what the problem was. There is no point in repairing it not knowing if the temperature will plummet back down again. Maybe I will just start wearing my clothes more days. Hey, my grandparents wore their clothes more than one day and I suppose that I can too.
My youngest sister has such a heart of gold. She knew that each morning lately, I have got up, heated water on the stove and poured it over the filter filled with coffee. Hey, I really didn’t mind. It just took a moment longer. Anyway, today, she knocked on the door with a new coffee pot. I had told her that when I bought another one that I didn’t want any bells and whistles, because it seems that the circuit board goes out and then the entire pot has is trashed.. I just wanted one that I could turn the switch on and presto, I would have coffee brewing. Now that is just what I have and I am so please.
So, when anyone feels their days are filled with stones, I suggest that they not bite their nails wondering how things will be fixed or replaced. Just have a bit of faith that all will work out. That is what I do. This sounds crazy to a lot of folks but it usually works for me. Of course, there are times when we have to get right on the problem. I may have faith but I also have good sense. ha ha
Donald Perduyn of Flushing, New York. Another Scammer
I belong to a few sites online. Some sites are just for making friends but I belong to one in hopes of meeting a nice man.
Allow me to tell y’all a story about Donald Perduyn of Flushing, New York. If y’all would like a photo of him, just comment me asking and I will give you one. He asked me if I wanted to be friends. I checked out his profile and since I did not see anything offense on it, I accepted. He sent me comments and messages like most people do. He started trying to get my attention in a big way. I gave in and gave him my alias email address. Everyday, when I checked my email, I would have a message from him. He didn’t send it to my personal email address. Instead, he would send me a card that I had to pick up. I thought the cards were nice but I wondered why he sent the same card everyday instead of sending me messages to my email. I found out when I replied using a card, that he could find out what time I picked up the card. How interesting.
This guy was wanting to get serious. He talking about how he was going to court because of a wreck that he had. He said he wanted out of New York. His only thought was about getting the money and leaving his state. He told me that he had decided that I was the woman for him. I was amused. Just imagine a man thinking that he could pick a woman out and decide that she would be his. Hasn’t he heard….It is the woman who chooses the man who chooses her? I suppose not.
Anyway, he wanted to call me and I thought that would be fine so, I gave him my cell number. I could barely understand a thing he said because his voice was so soft. I mentioned to him that I couldn’t hear him. He kept talking. Finally, I suggested that we get back to chatting online. He agreed. However, he wanted me online each night and every night at a certain time. Sometimes, I wasn’t in the mood or had other things to do. I felt that I was in control when it came to chatting. If I wanted to, I would. Most of the time, I just ignored him hitting me up on IM. He wasn’t appealing to me and I really don’t know why I bothered to talk to him in the first place.
One day, I noticed that a woman in his friends list had looked at my page. Then she looked again several more times in the next few weeks. I finally decided to send her a message. She had done nothing to me and I wanted to be friendly. I thought she had a nice page and said so. Then I suggested that maybe a man in our friends list was romancing the both of us. I didn’t have to tell her who. She knew.
Anyway, we exchanged a few messages and come to find out, he was telling her the same thing that he was telling me. She asked if he sent me cards with flowers and I said yes. Then, she wanted to know if he called me and I told her. She was upset and hurt. When she asked him about me, he told her that I had one foot in the grave. This gave me a big laugh. I felt bad for her because it seems that he has done this to a lot of his women friends. I deleted him from my list of friends but I noticed that this women did not.
The point is that a lot of men online hide behind their computer and will try to make a woman believe anything. If y’all have read my other blog posts, y’all know that I was scammed by one guy, who I had talked to online for a long time. I have decided that trying to find someone online just isn’t going to happen. It will take me a long time to trust anyone online again that I do not know. This is probably a good thing.
I need to get back to asking men to send me a copy of their drivers licenses. Hey, I have asked before and some men actually did it. Now, to me, that was dumb on their part.
Conserving Energy In The Home
Remember one thing after you complain about how much it cost to heat your home this winter. It is cheaper to wear more clothes in the home than it is to turn up the thermostat. I keep mine on about 67 degrees during the day and 55 to 60 degrees at night. In the summer, I keep it on 78 and use a fan in the room where I am working. Use those ceiling fans to keep the air moving. Start this early in the spring and by summer, you will be used to it. Oh, and keep those filters clean. It keeps the unit from overworking and that saves money too.
Do you know that an empty fridge cost more to run that one that is full? Hey, when you empty that jug of milk, fill it with water and put it back in the fridge. Keep curtains open on the sunny side of the house. If you will not be home during the day, cut the thermostat down to about 63 degrees. When you get home, it will be warm enough and will not take long to heat it up to 67 degrees.
If you plan to be gone all weekend, cut it down to at least 55 to 60 degrees. Why heat an empty home? Oh and don’t forget to flip the breaker off on the water heater. If you are using gas, turn it down to vacation mode. Speaking of hot water heaters, why not buy an insulating blanket? It is amazing at how much heat is lost without one.
Never wash clothes in hot water or even warm water. Liquid detergent does a great job of cleaning clothes. If you are concerned with germs, use bleach. On sunny days for those who can, hang your clothes on the line. You might even enjoy it. If you want them fluffed up after they are dry, just put in the dryer on air. That should do the job.
When your appliances need to be replaced, look for Energy Star.
http://www.energystar.gov/index.cfm?c=appliances.pr_appliances
If you can not replace your windows with new energy-efficient ones, make sure to chalk around them. Do the door too. Even on the inside, you can use clear sealant to run a bead around the window. Trust me, you will be glad that you did.
I could write a book on saving energy but I just wanted to hit the high spots to remind people of how easy it is to save those bucks going to the utility companies. Hey, wouldn’t you rather spend it on something for yourself?
Most people I know only wish they have a utility bill as low as mine.
Feeling validated.
I have been in the care of a shrink for a while now. There have been so many ups and downs in my life that I felt it was necessary to have someone with a good brain to talk to. At first, I was excited. It was like a game to me to sit in his office and toy with his mind. Of course, I knew that he understood what I was doing. He is in his last year as a resident so, I thought it would be interesting for him to have someone like me to counsel. I can be a bit of a hoot and I truly hope that he is enjoying having me as a patient.
However, the tables started to turn. We started getting into serious aspects of my life in which I am having a hard time coping. It isn’t fun to sit and talk about things that hurts deep inside. The rejection, the heartache, the suffering from not having people around who should be there to support you.
I have had the care of my grand-daughter on and off for over a year and a half. She is now settled with her mom’s family as it should be. However, that doesn’t keep me from missing her. I enjoyed getting up each morning with a purpose. She was a challenge but a worthy one. Now, I am having to adjust to her not being here. Not only that but I can’t get her family to return my phone calls. Since I have manners, I feel that we need to call and not just knock on someone’s door. The last time that I saw her, that is what I had to do. I just knocked on the door.
It seems that as we get older and have raised a family, that we should have all the support that we need. After all, we were the leaders the children that we had. We took most of our time seeing to it that they learned all the valuable lessons to become the good men that I had hoped for. Well, I do not have the support that I wish. One son doesn’t want to talk to me again ever, thank goodness. The other one has four sons and I am giving him a break. Why? Because he is a very busy man. However, I do feel that he could call once in a blue moon and we all know that isn’t very often.
So, back to talking to the shrink. As I poured my heart our about my concerns and if I can ever come to terms with my life as it is, he helped me see today how I do many things daily to show myself that I love me. In a way, I find comfort in just knowing that. Not only that I know it but that someone else knows it too. I guess I feel validated.
Determined To Find A Life In 2010
Let me see. That gives me ten years to find a new life. One might ask what is wrong with the one I have? What is not wrong would be a better question. My son has been a drug user since his high school days. I had him in and out of drug rehabs until I understood that he only learned about a new drug in there. Yep, just as soon as he was out, he was on to trying the latest drug that he learned about in rehab.
My front door has revolved with him in and out of it for years. He would find a way to get inside after I had said no a hundred times. Mom, I just need a place to stay for a couple of days. That would turn into a few weeks. After that length of time, I would be stark raving crazy and would put his things out and change the locks. The last time he wanted to come live with me, he had a baby daughter with him. His girl friend wasn’t stable enough to care for her. He thought he was. I ended up taking care of the precious baby. Then one day he came home after being out with her for a weekend and told me that he was using again and needed help. Help? Right. How many times had I heard that?
I called DHR (Children Services) and took the child and sent his butt to the curb. No. I will not listen to I need your help any longer. Long story short, he doesn’t have the child and neither do I. As long as she was in my care, he came and went around here as he pleased. I couldn’t take it. Why? I don’t like him. Why should I? All I have to do to be reminded of my life with him is to raise a photo on any wall in my home to see the hole that he put their with his fist. Yes, I kept those holes for a reason. I could have patched them but they serve a better purpose by not being patched.
Now the child is living with her mother’s grandmother. The mom lives with them. The good thing is a grandfather is involved. He makes her toe the line. She can go to work but when she is home in his house, she has to take care of the baby. Good for a strong-minded man. I visited her last week. She seemed happy. We played and danced and sang Barney songs on the porch. I know in my heart that I will not be allowed to come and go in her life. That family will not let me. Oh, did I mention that my son doesn’t know it the child is his? Hopefully, that will come up in court before too long.
I also had a person scam me into staying with me for a month while he waited on his bank account to be transferred and credit cards to arrive. Right. They never arrived. I kicked him out too. A shame that he wasn’t a good guy because he was a great cook and loved to help wash the dishes. Other than that, he was worthless. Hey, I am just telling it like it is.
So, I am interested in getting my head on straight because it seems to have SUCKER written across it. I wonder if I could get it off with some good strong detergent or if I will need plastic surgery? Hey, maybe some of that makeup for people with scars will help until I can figure out what is wrong with me in the shrink’s office.
Happy New year folks. I am on my way to a better life in two-thousand-ten. Goodness gracious but that is weird in print.
High School Reunions. Why?
Etowah Blue Devils
It seems that since the folks in my high school class at Etowah High School are getting older, they are planning reunions of the graduating class every five years. At first, it was every ten years. Wow, like many people are truly interested in seeing people they didn’t like every five years instead of ten? Not me. I didn’t like most of the people I attended high school with back in the day. After not seeing them for five years, I don’t think that I am going to like them any better.
Remember the group of guys and girls who were in THE IN CLUB? They were the ones who were voted as officers for the school classes, won most outstanding and most likely to be successful. Oh, plus the girls won all the beauty contests. Call me dumb but since I wasn’t a part of the in group, I didn’t know that they all got together before the voting and decided who to vote for. Just think. All the poor kids in class though their vote counted. How shocking is this? Not very when one thinks about the clicks of kids and the power that they wielded.
I went to my ten-year reunion. It was fun because I had been more successful at that point than most of the others. Why? I married well. Shocked? You shouldn’t be since the girls back in those days were reared to marry well. From the time we were old enough to learn, we were trained to take care of our man. What man? That man that we would marry one day. We didn’t have a face to put with him but we knew that he would be tall, dark and handsome and make lots of money. So, we learned to cook, keep an amazing home, walk right, talk right and certainly and above everything else, we would be a lady. My mission was accomplished in just ten short years. Who would have thought? Not me. I was a rebel but not many people knew that.
So, now it is time for that five-year reunion to come again. We all will be contacted and asked to fill out a form about our life’s accomplishments. Hey, I thought I did that fifteen years ago? Right. I did. What could change in fifteen years? Plenty I suppose for some people who are late bloomers. I married well, had my two children, lived in a nice home, drove a new car most years and then divorced him. Oh and then went on to get my degree, I wrote my book, and did all that I had hoped. What else do they want to know?
Dang if I know but I am not going anyway. I haven’t gone since the twenty year reunion. At that one, the girl who I like the most in school talked bad to me. It hurt my feelings. Hey, she needs to see a shrink. Anyone who isn’t over her dad divorcing her mom back in the day and marrying my sister’s ex-husband’s mom should either get over it or see a shrink. Aren’t we suppose to get over it? I thought so.
A few others that I got along well with didn’t have two words to say. All of these years, I thought something was wrong with me. Now, I realize that they felt insecure about themselves. Sorry that they divorced only to remarry the wrong guys. Or maybe, they didn’t find anyone at all. Whatever.
Anyway, when they send their forms and ask me to come, I will be overjoyed to say no. Oh, I know that they will not accept that and someone will call to try to persuade me so come. It will give me even more joy to say no again. One thing will be different this time. Instead of saying that I can’t come for a certain reason, I plan to tell them that I don’t like anyone well enough to come. Hey, that will save me a trip to the shrink. Money well saved.
Scammed by Jeff Scott Knapp
Every once in a while, someone comes along who we think we can trust. Jeff Scott or Jeff Scott Knapp from either Maine or Arizona is one person that women need to be aware of. He admitted to working in Florida, Connecticut, New York and all up and down the eastern coast as a contractor building homes in his lifetime. However, since 2001 he had lived in a home he bought with his dogs Jack Daniels JD and Rusty Bucket. It seems that he went there to take advantage of the building boom. Remember than anything that I tell here that he told me may or may not be the truth.
He is a Mac man and thinks Windows sucks. He is good at what he does. His stories are believable. Do not allow this man to even get inside you email box. He is smooth and will take all that you have to offer without you even giving it a thought. I thought that I knew him. I invited him to my home. It appeared that he would be here for only a few days as he was on his way to Maine to visit with his family over the Christmas holidays.
When he arrived, he said that his credit cards along with his computer were taken by mistake at the bus station. His bag was picked up by someone at one of the bus stations and he picked up another persons by mistake. He turned the other persons bag in as did they. He also said that he dropped his iPhone in Phoenix and a new one would be arriving here by Fed Ex in a few days. He also was overheard by me on the phone one day transferring his money to another account. He wanted to get his money out of Arizona.
He was invited to come visit since he was on his way to Maine to visit with his family for the holiday. That few days turned into a month. Imagine someone coming to visit without a dime in their pocket and expecting you to take care of them with a promise of paying you for your expense while they were there. That is what happened.
Looking back, I asked why he didn’t think to get funds before he transferred his money. Also, what a dork I was for believing that he could do it online. Oh well, lesson learned. He was broke so, I helped him with the things he needed. We waited and waited for his credit cards to be delivered by Fed Ex. They never came. Neither did his iPhone that was to be replaced because he had insurance. He also said that one of his bags was lost and it was sent back to the return address he filled out when he bought a ticket. He travels by bus because he said he was afraid of flying. He told me all about a friend of his who works for a company in California who goes on missions to work but not even his family knows where he is when he is gone. This so-called friend was suppose to drive his truck with his personal things here for him. Then he called the guy to find out that he had to go out on a mission. He had taken his truck and personal things to his brothers in Texas. His brother was going to leave in a few days to bring them to him. He said his brother’s name was Paul and he also had a sister Chastity who has a horse ranch in Oregon who had flown into Texas and planned to come with her brother because they had family business to settle.
Long story short, nothing arrived by Fed Ex and non of his family came. He was here for a month eating my food and taking advantage of my good nature. He didn’t eat anything but meat and potatoes or rice along with any desert that I would make. In the mean time, he used my phone making it seem to me that he was reversing the charges but when my bill came, I found that they had been charged to me. Beware of this man as he is sweet, kind and loving. He will do the cooking and help keep the kitchen clean. He is pleasant to be around but when pushed into a corner about not believing what he said, he will tell you that he lost his business. If you know of this man, message me and I will give you more details.
Oh, another thing one should know is former email addresses that he used. Rclyler.az@me.com also Jeffaz, jeffsaz. He now has a goggle address but I am not aware of it.
Marijuana Reform
Marijuana reform is an ongoing battle and one that I hope can be resolved in this next decade. It seems that since the economy is in such a slump, that lawmakers are taking a new look at how to rake in some more cash. My thought is that out of greed to keep the coffers full, marijuana will become legal in many states in this country.
Thirteen state have decriminalization laws on the books. Some states allow so much in a person’s possession while others will only fine a person maybe one-hundred dollars if they are found with pot on them. Personally, I see it as the next thing legalized in this country. The cigarette manufacturers could put their people back to work by making marijuana cigarettes. The tax could bring in millions of dollars a year. One bean counter has suggested as much as three hundred million in taxes. In fact, I do not think this country has a clue how much money could be made from the legal sell of it. Most people will deny that they smoke it but more do than anyone can imagine.
There are many concerns about its effects on the health care system. What a joke. If there is any serious effect, then people are already seeing doctors about health issues. I just can’t see that legalizing it will bring more people to the doctor’s office. They are already smoking marijuana but just aren’t admitting to it.
Frankly, I think it is a joke that it hasn’t been legalized already. Law enforcement should consentrate on the harder drugs being shipped into our country. Pot is something that can grow anywhere. I knew a woman once who grew it in her flower beds right in the middle of the small town where she lived. All the plants surrounding it were taller than the pot plants. I suppose that happens in more than just this one place.
My point is that there are many people who can benefit from using it because of illness. Others who care to smoke it can do so without fear of breaking the law. Every time this subject comes up, I have a flash of an old movie in my head of G-Men chasing men who ran whiskey stills, or using axes to cut the stills down or blowing them up. Today alcohol is legal but in my way of thinking, alcohol is more dangerous of a drug than pot will ever be.
Meeting New People
In life right when we think that we have given up on mankind, someone refreshing comes along. They give us hope that all is not lost. They show us that there are still good folks left that we can surround ourselves with. Such a thing usually happens when we least expect it to happen.
Earlier, I was feeling so down about a person who wasn’t who they should have been to me as I treat everyone with love and kindness. I suppose that I think that because I do that everyone should treat me the same way. Maybe, that is the innocent part in me showing. Yes, there is still an innocent little girl living inside of me. I pray that she never goes away. Even if it means being hurt from time to time.
So, with that said I feel that it is time to move on with my life. Put the haters in a corner far away from me. Get on with enjoying the ones who have something wonderful to offer. Here is to new friends.
