The Relationship Between Some Men and Women

As women we get involved with a man and we have a tendency to think that what they say or do is true.  That is really something that we need to work on because men do not have the same way of looking at things as we do.  For instance if a man says that he loves us, we think that he means that he is in love with us.  That is not always the case.  What they really mean is that they love in their way.  We can love people and not be in love with them.

A man is driven by sex and he will be the nice guy that we expect to achieve his goal.  We on the other hand may want sex but we also want a commitment to go with it.  Just because a man says he loves us and then we have sex with them doesn’t mean that he will commit to a relationship.  So many men want to have a good sex life but they are not willing to give up their freedom to have it with just one woman.

Think about this for a moment.  If a woman is willing to have sex without a firm commitment, then why should the man be devoted to just that one woman?  He may see someone else that he finds attractive and if she is willing, he will have sex with her too.  He doesn’t think a thing about it because he is driven by his sex drive.  It is called testosterone.

This is nothing new and we women should know it.  When we were dating as teenagers, our boyfriends wanted to have sex with us and that desire never ever goes away.  Even if a man is not capable of having sex, he still thinks, dreams and plans for a way that he might be able to.

Why do you suppose that there are so many things on the market for men?  There is a pill that they can take to enlarge their penis, and then there is a pump, that a man can use to make himself hard.  It doesn’t do him any good because he is not able to get off using the pump but he can have sex with a woman and that in itself is enough for us to understand, that sex is at the core of every man’s being.

The issue of sex as we get older is just as hard of an issue to deal with as it was when we were virgins.  The problem now is that we want to have a sexual relationship with someone that we truly care for, but we do not want them to be in and out of bed with other women.  How are we to know if they are or aren’t?  We could ask them but they might not tell us the truth.  It is a difficult issue at most.  It is something that needs time to decide.  I suppose what we have to do is see if the man is truly interested in just being with us in the first place before we commit.

How do we do that you may ask?  It is reasonably simple.  We watch his behavior.  If he has too many excuses as to why he can’t make a date, it may be because he isn’t really interested enough to make the effort.  If he doesn’t take the time to call just to hear our voice, then he doesn’t want to hear our voice.  They might say that they didn’t have the time.  I call that crap.

Let me ask you a question.  If he isn’t at work and he isn’t sleeping, he is usually in his car driving to work or home.  What is wrong with his cell phone?  Most men have a cell phone today.  Two minutes is just about enough time for a man to let a woman know that she has been at the center of his thoughts that day.  Two minutes is enough time for most women to be satisfied that he cares.

When you ask him to come to a function and he says that he sort of planned to go to a friend’s home for an occasion but that he is not sure, that is being totally unfair.  He then tells you later and usually at the last moment, that he has decided to go to the friend’s house.  He may be going to a friend’s house or he might have been waiting for another offer from another woman.  Or it could be as simple as he just didn’t want to make the effort to spend the day with you.  So what do you think now?  Do you make an excuse for him and keep seeing him or do you finally find some pride that you have been hiding from yourself and dump him?

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bit
    Dec 22, 2009 @ 11:44:36

    This is way too complicated to discuss in anything with fewer words than a book.

    Having “sex”, for whatever that means to a variegated population, is not viewed by most people as a sport and isn’t undertaken lightly. If it is undertaken lightly, it is not well received by most other people. If you are finding men that do take it lightly, you aren’t looking in the right places.

    For older people, particularly if they have lost a life long partner, intimate relationships are often formed with long time friends who are in similar circumstances. Such relationships are usually not what either is looking for, as the relationship often does not match the expectations of an earlier relationship, but is formed with different values of mutual respect. Respect usually comes from admiring the accomplishments of the other person. If you have no interests in common outside of sex, you probably shouldn’t be looking for sex there.

    Women in general tend to be more social and wish to attend more social functions than men do. It may be more important that you find something you like doing together rather than attend social functions together. If you find that you like doing neither of those together, sex probably shouldn’t be a next step.

    Suffice it to say that if you get beyond the sex point, the field gets pretty even. There are just as many women who don’t suit men as there are men who don’t suit women.

    Over the course of a long life, I’ve had few sexual partners, but there has been more than one albeit there has never been more than one at a time. It turns out that sex is usually an awkward thing at first with anybody, and probably should be. If it is not, something is probably not right. Don’t read that wrong–it is not the awkwardness of youth or inexperience of which I speak.

    That said, physiological function is what it is, and it is the rare male that can’t be sexually aroused quite easily. If the norm for the man is to be essentially rebuffed by any attempt to approach a woman, then just looking in his direction is encouragement. Any woman with the least bit of intelligence can probably arouse most men, particularly if she knows herself and has any idea of how these things work… …and if she is successful at arousing a man, it is likely that she may arouse others that she has not, uh, “targeted.”

    Some sufficient number of men, if they already have a good relationship will ignor the arousal attempts. In fact, they might be put off by the attempt though it surely will bolster the self-esteem of the man. Or so he might think.

    There are some women who, though they are already in a good relationship or even if they don’t desire any new relationships, pour on the heat anyway in an attempt to bolster their own self-esteem.

    If those are the places that the self-esteem of either men or women is confirmed, they truly need to re-evaluate what constitutes true self-esteem and true self-confidence–which has little to do with the ability to attract other people sexually.

    The woman who looks like she is “on the hunt” is likely to attract men who do not presently have a good relationship and therefore judge most men by the result. Unfortunately, this is probably not a good sample of the total population.

    Short of writing a book, I’ll leave my opinions there.


  2. yi
    Nov 16, 2009 @ 11:51:22

    sex is overrated


  3. sassysweetbren
    Oct 29, 2009 @ 21:29:05

    Amazing. Men in America never get over wanting sex.


  4. Young Werther
    Oct 29, 2009 @ 21:23:44

    Quite true that… like they say Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.

    BTW when you get to my age, sex isn’t foremost on my mind. Good company, good food, good literature comes pretty close to hot sex 😉


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