What? A Family Member Doesn’t Like Me?

I have to just sit back and laugh when I think about my sister.  She and I grew up sleeping in the same bed, playing in the creek together and just having fun.  She was always my best friend.

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because I felt so close to her, my eyes and ears were closed to all that she did in life that hurt others including me.  That is until a few years ago.

We have been agreeable to some extent for a while but only because I was the one making the effort.  It was hard for me to realize that she didn’t like me at all.  (A friend suggested one day that she might be jealous. ) No one should be jealous of me because we all have our special talents in life.   .Anyway,  I should have known but in my heart, I am a peace loving woman.  In my life, when things go bad, I am always looking for the bright sun hiding behind the clouds.  I never stop long enough to think how others truly are.  I just accept them because they are who they are.

That is the key thing with me.  It is my nature to just allow people to be who they are.  I can accept who they are or I can chose to not have anything to do with them.  That is easier to do with a friend or acquaintance than with a family member.  Family members are always showing up at family functions.  People do not say, “Well, we can’t invite this person or that because they do not like each other.”  However, that is now the case.  My number one sister has hosted holiday get togethers for years and now, I am not invited.   That is very hurtful to me.

My sister and I have a younger sister who lived half the distance of the state from us.  My sister was always trying to get my youngest sister to move up here to be close to us.  I never asked her to move because she is a grown woman and I knew that she would do what she wanted.  All I wanted for her was to be happy wherever she lived.  Sister number one…as I will refer to her was always begging sister number 2 to move.  When she finally decided to move, she even went down to help her.  I thought that was nice.

Sister number one even demanded that sister number 2 move in with her until she found a place to live.  While sister number two was looking for a home to buy, she never asked her sister to go out with her to look at houses.  She knew that their thoughts on what type of home to buy were way too different,  I didn’t blame her but sister number one took it wrong and had her feelings hurt.  Needless to say, before my youngest sister could get moved out, the other sister was giving her grief.  My youngest sister had to come live with me for a week because the youngest sister’s dog scratched the bedroom door while she was at work.  I could have been repaired but no, the other sister demanded a new door plus a professional carpet cleaning before my youngest sister moved and that had to be in CASH.  So little sister brought her dog and stayed with me for a week.  On moving day, she wouldn’t allow her own sister to be at her house to move.   The movers had to move her things without the youngest sister even being there.

Our sister got mad at me too because I took up for my youngest sister,  When she refused to allow her to be there on moving day, I asked our sister number one who she wanted me to tell about her past life first……her preacher, she friends at church or her good friend down the street,  By the way, she isn’t friends with that lady any longer and has dropped out of church saying that since back surgery, she doesn’t feel like going and that has been nearly two years, but she can do some more shopping.  Just for the record, I don’t have a church home except the many ministers I watch on television.

As I am writing this, I see all the times that she used me to her advantage.  I was like a blind bird just flying along without giving it any thought.  It has been two years ago and she still hasn’t spoken to me but a few times,  She stopped by when I had a new bath installed.  Back in my early days at home, my mother would call that kind of person nosey.

Now, to top all of this off, my baby sister doesn’t speak to me either.  They both are too interested in how I live my life.  My son lives with me and they do not approve.  My son and I do not always get along and sometimes we have words,  At least, I can depend on him to help me out when needed.  I can’t depend on them for anything.  There was a long time that I cried all the time and still do at times but I am not eat up with their rejection as much as I once was.  I just figure that by not being around either of them, they are saving me a lot of grief.  Women who are always trying to control others aren’t my favor people to spend time with in life.

The reason for my youngest sister putting me out of her life is a hoot,  Make sure to check back if you are interested in some good drama and I will tell that story.  It is better than this one.

I think some may be wondering why I am writing  this.  Well, I suppose because my youngest sister reads my blogs and I hope she will see how ridiculous all of this is.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Michelle Styles
    Nov 04, 2013 @ 09:52:35

    Family is always the toughest. They are the ones who can wound us in ways friends can’t. I am blessed with a decent family and am very close to a couple of my siblings. But I have a brother whose wife has made relationships near impossible. I won’t stop trying though.

    What you wouldn’t know is at 14 I was raped. She being a good christian lady put tons of presure on me to have an abortion. I choose not to and instead gave my son to my parents to raise. At 14 I wasn’t in a position to be a mother. This same sister in-law calls me many hurtful things. So much so my father and mother will not have them over anymore.

    Who loses here? My neices and nephews. Because my father is a very good father and grandfather as is my mother.

    My wish for you. Protect yourself but never fully give up on your sisters. Be the bigger person and a better daughter of god. I myself am not Christian but I fully believe in one god and while we have different names the message he delivers is the same. Ultimately he is our father and he sets the example. He will never quit on you no matter how many times you quit on him and no matter how many hurtful things we do. He will never quit on you. Don’t quit on her and if oneday she seems sincere in her desire to reconcile. Take her hand and forgive her because it’s what your heavenly father will do for you time and time again.

    You’re a good person and you deserve better. For some reason this test is placed in your life. My tests have been many from a brutal beating and gang-rape at 14, to having a child i now watch grow up from afar, to an attempted suicide, to 15 years of self blame, self doubt and self punishment in the form of cutting. God has yet to quit on me no matter how i cursed him, no matter what I’ve done.

    Pass his tests with grace my friend and while the need to protect yourself from bad people is strong never turn your eyes so blind that you miss a chance to forgive and maybe even make right the relationships you deserve. Trust and they will come round should it be in his plan.

    /hugs from your newest reader Michelle

    Reply

    • sassysweetbren
      Dec 25, 2013 @ 13:55:32

      Honey, I am so sorry for all you have been though in your life. You did the right thing by keeping the baby if that was your decision. The only other one was adoption. She was wrong on that count.

      As far as me giving up, I have forgiven instead. One can not make others do what they want. If they do not want to associate with me, I can’t make them.

      Each night when I go to bed, I ask God to bless them, show them favor and send angels to watch over them to keep them safe.

      In years past, I never had anyone over for Christmas and the main reason was because I was so broke. I didn’t have money for presents and certainly didn’t have money to cook a meal.

      This year, I have decided that I don’t have to cook. I will just have snacks and make some deserts. It feels good since my home is paid off to have some extra money at this time of the year. It was heartbreaking to be broke in the last 12 years.

      I was just reading in the bible last night how we need to separate ourselves from some people in life. All we need to do is forgive but that doesn’t mean we have to associate with people who hurt us. It made me feel good to get that straight.

      Thanks for reading my blog and sharing your story. I wish you a Merry Christmas Michelle.

      Reply

  2. sassysweetbren
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 23:47:19

    Thanks Young but as you can see my my youngest sister’s reply, we will never be a family again.

    I was always close to Donna. More than anyone in the family. Donna is a mean hearted woman who masquerades as a nice woman to the elderly that she takes care of and the underaged men she likes to take as lovers, She kicked her own daughter out of her home and her daughter had a serious neurological problem. She cares for no one. Only herself.

    She invited me to have Christmas dinner with her 2 years ago. I was there at 4:00 o’clock just as she asked me to be. When I arrived, she had a huge sign on her glass door that said sleeping. My first thought was that she was tired from cooking the meal. I took a seat on her deck trying to give her time to rest. Then I realized that she had given me a key when she moved in, I went inside and waited but she never came down. I walked back outside and then came back inside.

    When I came in, she came to the dining room door and I was in her kitchen, She told me that she had changed her mind and that she wasn’t going to have Christmas dinner and she was’t going to have anything to do with me again because I allow my son to live with me and talk to me like a dog, She said that I have no respect for myself. Instead of leaning me emotional suppose as I have done for her all of her life, she dumped me.

    It seems to me that she would not be following my blog if she didn’t want to know what is going on in my life. I knew that she watched my blog and after deleting the last one where she responded, I decided that she will not keep me from writing since I do have an education and can express myself.

    There is something sick with her following my blogs. When I wrote one at Christmas, she had the gall to respond in a way of telling me what to do. Donna, if you do not want to hear what I have to say, stay off of my blog because now that a lot of the hurt has healed, I have plenty to say.

    Reply

  3. youngwerther
    Aug 08, 2013 @ 23:07:14

    Bren, it’s always difficult for family to get on. I get on fine with mine because we seldom communicate, brother in in UK, sister in France and me downunder. Have an in-law in Sydney but we stopped talking to each other ages ago.

    Give it time, maybe, just maybe things will heal… well, maybe not if the above comment is anything to go by 😦

    Hey, we from “you-know-where” miss you!

    Reply

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