Helping A Friend In A Time Of Grief


I got home Sunday night about 9:30. Little sister picked me up. We had to hit the grocery store before coming home since I gave away all of the food in the fridge before I left. It was late by the time I settled down. She and I had to catch up on things even though she called me a lot while I was gone.

A good airline to use

When we arrived at the airport, A. J. parked right in front knowing he may have been asked to move but he stood with me until the Sky Cap checked my bags. He tipped him for me and then he parked and came inside to sit with me until I had to go though security. It was a bitter sweet moment. He stood so he could see me until I was out of site. I kept looking back and he was standing there like he was guarding me. He had told me not to cry but the closer I got to where I could not see him, well, the tissue came out. Finally, when I knew I would be out of site, I told him bye and blew him a kiss as he did. Then I was gone.
Some women wish. :)
The next part is always fun. Having to take off my shoes, jacket and put everything in bins to be examined. I get the full treatment since I have an artificial knee. They have to pat me down in front of everyone. Oh, they ask if I want to do it in private but I just figure everyone needed to see this older lady being patted down and wonder if I am a bad woman. ha ha….It helps to get a seat alone if one is available.

Leaving him with so much to do was hard but I needed to come home for a lot of reasons. If not, I might have still been there as hard as it was. I have to have this kidney stone blasted to hell and back.

It is a hard thing to watch a person take apart their parents home of fifty years knowing they will never walk back in the door to see it looking like it once did again.   I don’t think he could have done that first part without someone who cared to be there with him. He cried a lot, would get hurt and angry. It was just heart breaking to watch.   He grew up in that home. It was his home from the time he was just a little boy. In fact, the room where I slept was once his room.  The furniture he had as a child was nice and looked nearly new. That was a surprise.  Most people do not take such good care of their furniture.

The bad part was his dad dying in the middle of us sorting and packing. It slowed things down. He grieved and grieved. So sad. I told him about a pamphlet he needed to get on grieve. He said he didn’t need it. He was just lashing out because of the hurt.  Yesterday, he told me the funeral home sent a package that offered counseling on grieve. He said he was going. I was so glad. Finally, he was beginning to see things like I had hoped.

His brother was in rehab and he couldn’t get him to talk to him. His brother was suppose to be the executor of the estate but now he can’t so A. J. has to do it all. He and his brother finally did talk when he went home from rehab. They sorted out what the brother wanted which wasn’t much.

I made friends with the couple across the street. The gentleman was very fond of me and my southern ways. They had us over once but the Friday night before I left, they took us out because I would be leaving. I had a great time. Two martinis later and I was the life of the party. Dang but I am a cheap date.  It was just wonderful to have people be so fond of me.  Anytime that I was there alone, I knew all I had to do was call them for anything and they would oblige me.  Later, they bought 3 pieces of very nice collectible furniture that my friend had planned to take outside and burn.  He had no  clue they had value.  Anyway, their daughter who lives in New York will be enjoying them soon enough.
I am glad that I went but I can say it was a strain. I have never been away from home that long.  When I walked in the door of my home that night, I looked around and was shocked that everything was so clean. I had cleaned everything before I left.

While I was gone, everything was in a mess.  Sorting thought things of 50 years wasn’t easy.  We would put things in a place of safe keeping only to forget where we put them.  There were important papers from when his parents came to this country in 1949 to escape the Communist.  His parents marriage licenses were found but they were written in Ukrainian.   A. J. speaks Ukrainian so, it wasn’t a problem for him.  He spoke their language before he spoke English.

Ukraine Location on Map

It has taken me three days to unpack.  All I have wanted to do is sleep. Today, I finally feel like I may stay awake all day. Would I do it again? I sure would. It feels good in my heart to know that I made a difference in someone’s life who needed it.

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